Ray's "Forward of the Week"
My uncle has never met an Internet joke he didn't like, and I'm on the mass recipient list. I've found that he averages one legitimately funny item (out of 7-10 sent) per week... leading to a new irregular feature, Ray's Forward of the Week. This time around, it's a holiday theme...
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Three men died on Christmas Eve and were met by Saint Peter at the pearly gates. "In honor of this holy season," St. Peter said, "you must each possess something that symbolizes Christmas to enter heaven."
The first man fumbled through his pockets and pulled out a lighter. He flicked it on and said, "This represents a candle."
"You may pass," said St. Peter.
The second man reached into his pocket and pulled out a set of keys. He shook them and said, "They're bells." St. Peter let him enter as well.
The third man started searching desperately through his pockets ... and finally pulled out a pair of women's panties. St. Peter looked at the man with a raised eyebrow and asked, "And just what do those symbolize?"
The man replied, "These are Carols."